Inspiring Mother Series : Stephanie Liu Hjelmeseth

Stephanie Liu Hjelmeseth, creative and mother to Jacob, shares her nurturing postpartum experience rooted in her Chinese heritage, the importance of family, her struggle with identity after Jacob was born, and the universal resilience we all carry as mothers. She also shares her self care routine and how she approaches the work/life balance. Her q+a reinforces how essential it is to connect with other mothers and have these open and real conversations.

Stephanie and Jacob are in the sk mom + babe sets.

What’s your current mood? How are you feeling and doing? 

I am feeling hopeful. Our entire family is vaccinated, with the exception of our 2.5 year old. While we are still very cautious with pandemic safety, we are just looking forward to so much this year as a family. Jacob is starting preschool in July, we are making domestic travel plans with a little more room to breathe, and even the little things like taking Jacob to the zoo is exciting because he missed out on so much during such a fun developmental year of his life. 

What is/what was your support system like when growing your family? How did you build your team?

I’m so thankful my family is close by and I know I can rely on them when I need help. I always knew that when I had children, my mother would be really involved as a grandmom and I just didn’t think of any more need beyond that. When I was pregnant, my mom would make the one hour commute to my home often and would bring groceries, cook warming meals, and make sure I wasn’t moving around more than she thought I needed to — hah. Shortly after I gave birth and was recovering in my hospital room, my mother arrived to meet the baby and brought along what looked like her entire stovetop. She carried in a box full of cooking pots filled with all of these warm, healing dishes. It was just so comforting and so her. 

For childcare, we have a nanny who’s been with us even before Jacob was born. We’ve known her for years as a caretaker and she also helped me around the house during pregnancy. She has taken care of Jacob since day 1 and she’s just an incredible human whom I consider like my third mom. Jacob is really lucky to have plenty of loving grandmas in his life! 

During Jacob’s first year, we attended mommy & me classes at Loom in LA, which is such a great organization centered around womanhood. 

What has been the biggest struggle (or fear) for you on this journey? How did/are you working through it?

My biggest struggle happened during the postpartum period when I just felt so lost from the woman I knew myself to be. It was truly the first time in my life I had broken down sobbing in front of my husband — week after week — just trying to make sense of what this new role really meant for me and the rest of my life. I was unhappy with my body, I was so stressed and tired, and I worried about how I would go back to work like I used to. As a content creator, I struggled with how much mom life I wanted to share, but how could I even share anything else because it was my life 24/7. I had no space to be creative like I used to, because I had a method and a zone, and motherhood completely upended that. This started around the 6-8 week mark postpartum and the feelings lasted for months. 

I was very honest with my husband and he has been so supportive of my emotions. We work closely together in our businesses, so he was able to offer so much insight and help with what I needed to get back to doing what I do. We both work from home (a pre-pandemic normalcy) and when Jacob was tiny, Kyle would carry Jacob in the Ergobaby for some of his daytime naps, standing up at the kitchen counter with his laptop, so I can leave the house and get something done. I couldn’t have gone past my identity crisis without his support and love.

Do you have any daily tips or secrets that make the work/life/family juggle just a little bit more manageable? 

I have affirmed to myself that my biggest dream in life was to become a mom and now that I’ve achieved motherhood, I approach my work/life balance as a mom first. I do my best to fit my work hours in, but I’ll always do better to be my son’s mom. With this mentality, I’ve let go of a lot of expectations of working long hours, having my phone in my hand in all day, and answering an email within the minute, especially when I’m in the middle of play time with my son. It’s not an easy, overnight thing to do, but I’ve shifted my work habits in many ways, like working efficiently in short 1- or 2-hour blocks of time. 

What is something (or someone) you found indispensable during your pregnancy or postpartum period?

 A meal plan. I had Motherbees food delivery for my 40 days postpartum period and it was such a convenient and necessary way for me to make sure I had my nourishing, vitamin-rich 3 meals a day while I was breastfeeding and recovering. 

What is/was your favorite thing to wear during pregnancy/postpartum?

Anything from the label Storq. They have the softest materials and most comfortable silhouettes for a growing belly and changing body. I especially love the nursing bras from the brand and the lounge sets.

What is your self-care ritual (including any favorite products!) that you preserve for yourself?

My morning routine is really important for me to have the space and time to do so. It’s the only way I can wake myself up and feel renewed for the day. I spend time doing my skincare routine, a mini facial massage with my ReFa roller, and I have to make my daily matcha tea before I can go into full mom mode.

It is such a crazy time and so many parents are struggling now. Is there anything from this time that has surprised you or that you have benefited from? Any words of wisdom to share with our communities?

What has surprised me is how adaptable we are as humans. I learned that we can do all we can to find something that works, until it just doesn’t and we need to figure something else out and we just do. This is why I always say to let go of expectations, because just trying is more than enough. 

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