Inspiring Mother Series : Katie Roach

Founder of Sister Katie, mom to baby intern Wren and babe on the way (due late spring!) gets real with us about launching a business during pregnancy and early postpartum, practitioners she relied on, and the differences between her pregnancy with Wren and this time around. She also shares her experience with anxiety and panic attacks and how she got through a particularly difficult postpartum period.

We are so beyond excited for the launch of her mom + babe sets, Katie and Wren wear here in green + navy.

What’s your current mood? How are you feeling and doing? 

Oh wow - how much time do we have? Current mood: tired and happy! Happy and tired! We are doing well. My family moved to New York from San Francisco right at the start of Covid in March 2020. We’ve been very fortunate to have our health and family with us this past year - and even still, it’s been challenging! I’m anxiously anticipating the arrival of our Spring 2021 collection as well as our second child. We’ve got a lot going on!

What is/what was your support system like when growing your family? How did you build your team?

My daughter was born in San Francisco in 2018. I loved my OB, Dr. Sarah Hebl at Pacific Women’s OB/GYN. I regularly saw my acupuncturist, Maya Musick, and I took weekly prenatal yoga classes with Kari Marble. I had just left my full time job and was working on launching Sister Katie so I also had time for daily walks in the Presidio, delicious meals, etc etc. It was a pretty cushy pregnancy. This time around, it’s been a little less… peaceful. I barely work out, I eat Oreo’s everyday and I’m running a business while taking care of a toddler. The most crucial member of my “team” has been my daughter’s nanny, Sandra. She takes care of our whole family and we love her.

What has been the biggest struggle (or fear) for you on this journey? How did/are you working through it?

I struggled with anxiety and panic attacks after my daughter was born. It was a very difficult first 8 weeks of her life. I was prescribed Zoloft by a psychiatrist based in San Francisco named Dr. Pamela Lyss-Lerman (I highly recommend seeing her!) and I had my long-time therapist, Dr. Danielle Sires, who I mean it when I say CHANGED MY LIFE, on speed dial. Both Pamela and Danielle were essential (ESSENTIAL) in my recovery. So was my husband who was endlessly patient, compassionate and caring towards both me and our daughter. 

I experienced intense physical symptoms of anxiety: frequent vomiting (think: holding your brand new baby against your chest and throwing up over her into the sink-type of vomiting), complete loss of appetite, racing heart and thoughts, etc. I share these details because, from what I’ve learned, postpartum anxiety and depression presents itself in so many different ways.

Everyone’s experience is unique. Terrible physical symptoms for me led to really dark thoughts: I’m a terrible mother, I’ll never be able to care for my child, things are never going to get better, you get the picture. Like I said, it was a very hard time. I’ve spent a lot of time on the other side trying to understand why it happened to me - but I guess we’ll never really know.

I’ve learned to be accepting and compassionate towards myself. I am definitely predisposed to mood disorders - I had struggled with panic attacks in the past. My husband did not take a paternity leave and worked weird hours (his day started in the office at 3am) and I was away from my family.

Regardless of the circumstances, I was terrified to be alone with my daughter because I worried that I’d be too anxious and too sick to take care of her. I was fortunate enough to have an incredibly loving night nurse (Jolly Bugari) who not only took care of Wren but also me.

The fact that I had someone helping me at night was something that caused so much guilt and negative self-talk (it’s still something I find myself reckoning with today)-- I have so much, I am so lucky. Why do I struggle so much? But, I’ve learned to try not to qualify struggling, or at least to be aware when I am qualifying my struggles. What’s the point?!

Anyway… all of this to say, it was the most challenging time of my life, I sought help (on day 10, no less!) and I recovered. I truly love nothing more than being Wren’s mom. And I’m more than capable of taking care of her - I’m actually really good at it. 

Do you have any daily tips or secrets that make the work/life/family juggle just a little bit more manageable? 

Haha - I wish I had the secret formula.

I try to find the humor in things and I try to be intentional about living in the moment. One of the things I learned early on in motherhood was to not get too far ahead of myself. I really try not to be too strict about routines. I set big picture limits and boundaries and adhere to a schedule, but I leave lots of room in between to play and roll with whatever comes. 

In terms of what makes things “work” for our family (and let me be very honest, it’s a constant shitshow in our house!)… I think a lot about something Sheryl Sandberg said in LEAN IN and then again after her husband passed away. She said something like: the most important career decision you’ll ever make is who you marry.

Since becoming a mother and starting my business, I’ve experienced this to be true. My husband has been unwaveringly supportive and excited about all of my successes (and everything in between). He’s cheered me on and looked at more clothing and talked through so much other crap that he really doesn’t care about than either of us could have ever anticipated! He’s also annoyed me every which way and we’ve had many ups and downs but we’ve still been committed to being supportive partners and figuring out our issues together. I have reaped the benefits of being with a supportive partner - he has made my life (personal + career) possible- love you Moro!

The only thing I’d add to Sheryl’s quote is that who you choose to help raise your children is just as important. We’ve been truly blessed in this area with family and chosen family, like our nanny. Moving home and being able to share our daughter with our families has been the high of a lifetime and we are all better for it. 

What is something (or someone) you found indispensable during your pregnancy or postpartum period?

Connecting with other moms was essential for me during both pregnancy and especially the postpartum period. Having help at night with my daughter was crucial for my mental wellbeing. And pizza has continued to be my most steadfast friend.

What is/was your favorite thing to wear during pregnancy/postpartum?

Sister Katie! It’s my everyday go-to, pregnant or not, but especially when pregnant and in a pandemic, the pieces are super soft and comfy and make me feel like I’m put together without having to put any effort in. I’ve also been loving my sweat suits from Entireworld and comfy bras and undies from Pansy and Juem. 

What is your self-care ritual (including any favorite products!) that you preserve for yourself?

I haven’t been doing as well with self-care recently! I’ve put cream on my belly approximately 4 times this pregnancy. The main thing I like to do for me is to get in bed as early as possible. I’m sure sleep experts would say this is what you should NOT do but I get in bed, watch tv, text friends, work on my laptop and do whatever the hell I want to do while laying down. 

It is such a crazy time and so many parents are struggling now. Is there anything from this time that has surprised you or that you have benefited from? Any words of wisdom to share with our communities?

I feel really fortunate to have been surrounded by my family this past year. It has been such a difficult time for so many people, especially mothers, so I try not to lose perspective of how fortunate we have been, while also leaving some space for myself to feel annoyed and resentful that I haven’t seen most of my friends in a year, that I haven’t met my best friend’s daughter, that I haven’t been able to immerse myself in my new community and so on and so on. 

 I’ve learned this more so since becoming a parent, but then again over and over, and ESPECIALLY this past year. It’s somewhat of my mantra: the sun will rise. I think this Kate Baer quote sums it up, I hear her words in my mind constantly: 

 for now just remember: birds sing, babies cry, and no matter the weather, every morning is new.

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