Those early weeks were always so full of hope, nervousness, and fear - a classic recipe for constant anxiety. Sometimes I would experience these feelings in succession. Other times I felt the weight of all of them, as if they were stacked on my heart, one on top of the other.

Like all new parents, they were astonished by their baby’s perfection. But their time with Julian was short -- because he was stillborn, they had just a few hours to soak in his beauty before they had to say goodbye. This is the letter Dresden wrote to Julian the day after she met him.

Over the course of this time I’ve become familiar with riding these waves of sadness. The waves crash to honor the months of hormones and pregnancy tissue produced, to honor the love, energy and dreams we have been holding. I say goodbye to our Ocean.

Mother — a title that holds so much love, so much weight, so much pain, a swelling experience that consumes and connects us.